Okay fuck blogger. Okay no, fuck IE who decided to hang on me and my entire post was fucking deleted. But it's okay actually, now that I've typed it out once and cleared my thoughts, it's alot easier to retype it. And I'm just gonna put it as two messages for two different people.

M > Are you trying, huh are you? I'm sorry but I feel like I'm the one who's doing everything and I'm sick of it. You never ever have to do anything because your friends do it for you and you'll never understand how I feel. I'm sick of waiting hours for your replies, sick of waiting for you to initiate conversations okay? I'm sick of everything especially having to wait for you and to try and make you see and understand. I don't even know if what I'm doing is worth it. You don't think much huh, everything's so on the surface, it's so easy and you're happy with it. But I'm not. Call me over protective, paranoid, overly sensitive, whatever. But we're friends right, and you're one of those that I treasure the most. If I had to write a list of my most important friends, you'd be one of the very top, know that? Nah I didn't think so. We've created so many memories together, everything reminds me of you and it hurts, when I think of you and how much fun we had together. Then I'd look at today, and the latest messages in my inbox aren't even from you. I know we're both busy but you know I'd always make time for you, no matter what. I used to like you, yeah I won't deny that. Know something, perhaps I'm over it now. But it'd be unfair to you if I stopped trying to make this friendship work just because I'm over it. I'd give up anything, just to meet up with you once a month. Somehow, when we're together, it seems like we're both making an effort but as time passes, we split apart further. Okay, I don't know what to think anymore but I do know that I'm sick and tired of trying so fucking hard. It's up to you, really. Just know that I miss you & that I'll always love you.

Thank you for everything
Come home, now that you're gone
I've finally realized
That you were the best
Come home, I won't forget the times that we had
So please don't be a part of my past

L > Hello there, just so you know, lyrics aren't enough and they never will be, not for me. Whats the point of ignoring me in school and being so happy with your clique then messaging me lyrics and nice stuff at night? Huh honestly, what's the point. When I need you, where were you? You are never there for me in school, and it hurts, it hurts so fucking badly but I'm scared to even talk about it cause I know, it'll only make things worse between us and that's the last thing I want / need. I guess you could call it jealousy, whatever, I don't care. I don't know if I should be glad that I told you and you told me. But what's done cannot be undone, and much as I'm tired of this, I still treasure you very much, as a friend. Actually, I think I should be damnit thankful for whatever you're doing already. In your previous one you didn't have to do anything. She was the one who called, who messaged, who waited for you and who did everything and anything you wanted her to do. She tried to change for you, she wanted to please you so bad just to win you. And I already have you, yet I'm still complaining. I don't know how you feel, I really don't. It feels like we're already drifting. And it really shouldn't be like that. If anything, our confessions should have brought us closer together. Or is it maybe that I'm not trying. I'm confused, okay? And I'm sorry for being so indecisive and stupid and everything. I just don't know what I'm doing and sometimes, I get really scared. Maybe I never really liked you. Maybe I never got over her.
But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause you're only almost here

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